Stephanie calls it, “A Multi-Colored Day.”

February 11, 2009

I was wearing a shirt that went over my knees and my oldest jeans. We spread the huge piece of banner paper on the grass. Alex carried the box of brushes and Carlos the paint. Yes, we were working on the “Dreamer’s Mural.” This lengthy paper would run across the walls of the dreamer’s room, classroom # 26. Carlos prompted us to get started but nobody really moved. He opened the pink paint and put some on a cup. I exclaimed, “Pink!” and he asked, “Who’s first?” And I got closer to him to get a swatch of pink on my paintbrush, but instead he put a streak of pink on my face. I jumped back and screamed, “Carlos!” This was the beginning of a colorful fight of paints which involved everyone. Violet, green, brown, yellow, orange, etc. were everywhere.

A lot of kids splattered paint with their brushes all over. Kids painted trees, people, stars, etc. There was one drawing that stood out the most to me, and it was a picture of a man with insane hair. Under the picture it read: “Get Crazy,” one of the Phillis Wheatley kids had drawn it. I painted a beautiful purple flower which transformed into a butterfly. My kid, Keyalah wrote a quote about the dreamers themselves. Armando decided to draw a portrait of me, he was pretty accurate. Nathan decorated the mural with his handprints. He kept on mixing ever color onto his hands. He added all of these bright colors, and I found it interesting how in the end they all led to a messy black. Nathan had paint all over himself and so did I .While some people chose to maintain themselves clean, everyone saw me as an easy target… The kids, the college students, and even the teachers. I was a walking rainbow.

-Stephanie Bechara

Stephanie says: Things are NOT always Cotton Candy, Gumdrops, and Rainbows.

February 25, 2009

I had been longing for Wednesday to arrive, sooner than what it did. Last week we hadn’t visited Phillis Wheatley. And I? Well I was having withdrawals. I yearned for the kids’ presence as much as potheads desire marijuana, as much as vampires crave blood, and as much as trees need roots.

Today we had to form a group, and come up with a skit about happiness. Our group consisted of: Marice, Andreina, Sendy, Jameisha, Kiki, and Nathan. The question was, could wealth possibly be the source of happiness? We began to write a skit about the topic. As each one of the kids explored their own views on the relationship between happiness and wealth, I soon realized that each had different opinions. All was going well until I realized one of the kids, Nathan, had grown impatient.

He would frequently interrupt me and talk loud and fast. I was worried. His behavior was unlike his usual one. I knew right away that something was wrong. I did my best to ignore his impolite behavior while simultaneously considering what he had to say. To be honest, I understood where his impatience might have come from. He had had a long day at school and the skit required more work than he was used to receiving from us.

Throughout, Nathan was mostly saying gibberish and in between all the nonsense he claimed that having money did not make any one anymore content, while Kiki explained how it was necessary in order to be happy. Since everyone couldn’t come to an agreement, I decided to set up a mini debate between the two. Nathan tried to make his point clear, now it was Kiki’s turn. But as soon as she started speaking he refused to respect what she had to say and in fact, he wouldn’t even let her talk. “Nathan, Kiki is talking,” I said. “No. But money doesn’t make you happy,” he spoke over me. This persisted for a while.

Keyalah made her way to our group, back from selling pizzas; something the kids do after school to help Mr. Lewis. Nathan was sitting next to me, but she came to sit between us and the usual happened. The two began to talk back to each other. Nathan was already in a sassy mood and the two normally fight about anything. What they were discussing? I wasn’t sure since I was too busy trying to get the script down with the rest of the group. All I heard in the background was Keyalah say, “Nathan, she was my college student first. You had Marice all along.” And as soon as she said that, I felt like property. What did I mean to those two? Was I some sort of negotiable item!? I continued to get more of the script written instead of intervening.

It shall be noted, that ignoring a situation does not make it go away. Nathan tried his hardest to continue on his worst behavior. Usually Marice can control Nathan and she tried talking sense into him, but not even that worked. Finally I said, “I don’t think you want to be part of this group Nathan. You’re not cooperating.” “This group is full of girls, I don’t like it,” he replied. I looked around and realized, he was right. I told him, “Are you sure you don’t want to be in our group?” I asked. “I don‘t care,” he responded. “If you leave now you won’t be able to come back. So you can either stay here and behave, or altogether switch groups,” I said. “I don’t want to be part of this group anymore,” was his final statement. I stood up and Nathan knew exactly what I was going to do, I took him by the hand and walked him over to the next closest group. The second cluster of kids was Odette and Armando‘s group, it was composed of only boys. And there I dropped him off. He didn’t’ budge, nor did he come back like Marice had predicted. And this amazed me, because I knew how much he wanted to be in our group or at least that’s what I thought. He had such a powerful will, he wanted to make a statement and stuck to it, I guess.

I knew about Nathan’s passion for acting and his aspirations of becoming a future entertainer. I knew he was the best asset our group had and that his skills to amuse would outshine. But now, it was too late. I thought of how I just left him there and this tore my heart. I was so used to always having him as part of my group. I walked over to where my group was, and just looked back regretting what I had done.

By the end of the day, only one group was ready to present. When it was 3:00 P.M. everyone started gathering their things and getting ready to leave. Nathan grabbed his book bag and I just stared at him, he looked at me and said, “You are the best.” He gave me a warm smile and vanished into the multitude of children. Then and there I knew, I had done something right.

After taking him out of our group, I felt like it was too harsh of a punishment. I must admit… I am a softie, maybe even a pushover. But after his last comment, I realized he had accepted it and that perhaps it was the best thing I could of done.

-Stephanie Bechara

Rest of Semester Plan

Here’s the plan for the next couple of weeks. We are in desperate need of a video camera that we can use to document our work. If anyone has one we can use please let us know.

Wednesday, February 25

Each group will be given a secret topic that should not be disclosed to the rest of the class.

• Education
• Health
• Family
• Money

Come up with a script for a three to five minute skit where they represent a certain real life situation that would help better understand the general concept in light of happiness. The skit should have a precise setting, time and place. College students will facilitate the kids coming up with the script and performance.

Wednesday, March 4

Finish skits.
Have happiness charts. (Have our MDC students design it.)
Have MDC students come up with their own “20 Things List.”
Brainstorm the “20 things I love List.”

Wednesday, March 11th

Learning lines for video taping skits.
Happiness charts.
Filming the 20 things I love list.

Wednesday, March 18

Start filming skits.
Interview (audio recording)–find a place of happiness within the school and have a conversation.

Come up with a choreographed Bollywood/Musical scene introducing or concluding the documentary.

Stephanie says: Garbage Cans and Wieners.

January 28, 2009

I placed the new adhesive label on the right side of my chest after writing my name on it; “Fabulous Star,” was what it said in fresh new ink. I was back. I had just stepped on the green mat sitting on the main hallway’s entrance and what brushed under my shoes were the letters: P-h-i-l-l-i-s W-h-e-a-t-l-e-y. As I walked into class I greeted Alex and Carlos with my usual, “Hi guys!” Alex responded “Hello Fabulous Star,” and Carlos just smiled. We all sat and waited patiently for the kids.

As I sat there, I started noticing things I hadn’t before: For one, the smell of the school was different. Two, there was a feeling of bareness in the air. And three, we had a new college student in our class. But as soon as I saw the kids, my face lightened up and I soon brushed off all thoughts from my mind.

Keyalah quickly spotted me and hugged me tight. Nathan did the same. Then and there I realized how much I missed the kids and what they meant to me. As I got distracted greeting other children, Nathan and Keyalah began to quarrel. I asked what was wrong and both talked over each other making a muffled sound. Their voices repelled making unhappy words come out of their mouths. I stood between them and tried patching things up. To make things worst, Nathan grabbed my purse from the floor and began running with it. “Nathan come back with my purse!” I screamed too late over his head. Instead Keyalah chased him to retrieve the purse from his hands. When she caught up with him they both fought and pulled for it. Nathan ended up accidentally hitting Keyalah in between all the chaos. She got mad and claimed she would never talk to him again, unless he asked for forgiveness. Nathan quickly said, “I am sorry.” And Keyalah did not even look his way. To try and make it up to Keyalah, Nathan told her he’d do whatever she wanted. And this caught Keyalah’s attention, she said, “Really? Ok, I want you to call yourself a wiener.” Nathan paused and thought about it. Took a deep breath followed by the phrase, “I am a wiener!” But that was not satisfying enough for Keyalah. And the dialogue continued a little like this:

Keyalah: Ok and now I want you to say, “I live in a garbage can.”
Nathan: I am not going to say THAT!
Keyalah: Ok, then I guess we can’t be friends.
Stephanie: Keyalah, wasn’t it enough with wiener?
Keyalah: No. He needs to say he lives in a garbage can.
Nathan: But I do NOT!
Stephanie: Well Nathan, you aren’t a wiener either and you said it. Can’t you just say that and get it over with?
Nathan: No. It’s different.

After the incident I thought quietly to myself about what looked like an insignificant argument. Why did Nathan go as far as degrading himself, by calling out that he was a wiener, but wouldn’t do it for the place he lived in? He was not ashamed of humiliating himself but was mortified of making his home seem disgraceful. Did it really mean that much to him? My guess is that, these children are conscious of their surroundings. Hearing bad things about their neighborhood or the place they live in has become shocking in their lives. So much in fact, that they do not wish to continue the cycle. It seemed as if Keyalah was testing Nathan’s limits and knew exactly what Nathan would and would not do.

As the day came to an end I gave my three recent observations from the beginning of the afternoon some more thought: The smell, the bareness, and the new college student. I soon realized, that the school’s smell was not any different; I had just forgotten the aroma I had grown so accustomed to. Yes, it had been that long since I last visited Phillis Wheatley, surely the holiday vacation had felt like an eternity.

I also concluded that the feeling of emptiness was more pronounced when we were all together; the kids, the college students, and the professors. Because every now and then in class I remember we’re missing something, or better said, someone. Flashbacks of Jessica, Reinier, and Cynthia came to my mind; I became conscious that I missed them. While many thought that Andreina, the newest member of our class was their replacement; I knew better. Andreina was simply an extension of our firm bond, never a substitution. The presence of Jessica, Reinier, and Cynthia was still vivid and intense among classroom 26, throughout the whole day today.

-Stephanie Bechara

Joanna Macy and PW

I’ve been reading some Joanna Macy these past couple of days and was reminded that part of the difficulty of the work we do is an inability to fully process our own grief over the many obstacles we (college students, Dreamers, and faculty) all face in becoming authentic and fully actualized human beings, . Here’s something we might want to use this coming semester that comes from Macy’s website:

Come from Gratitude

To be alive in this beautiful, self-organizing universe–to participate in the dance of life with senses to perceive it, lungs that breathe it, organs that draw nourishment from it–is a wonder beyond words. Gratitude for the gift of life is the primary wellspring of all religions, the hallmark of the mystic, the source of all true art. Furthermore, it is a privilege to be alive in this time when we can choose to take part in the self-healing of our world.

Don’t be Afraid of the Dark

This is a dark time, filled with suffering and uncertainty. Like living cells in a larger body, it is natural that we feel the trauma of our world. So don’t be afraid of the anguish you feel, or the anger or fear, for these responses arise from the depth of your caring and the truth of your interconnectedness with all beings. To suffer with is the literal meaning of compassion.

Dare to Vision

Out of this darkness a new world can arise, not to be constructed by our minds so much as to emerge from our dreams. Even though we cannot see clearly how it’s going to turn out, we are still called to let the future into our imagination. We will never be able to build what we have not first cherished in our hearts..

Roll up your Sleeves

Many people don’t get involved in the Great Turning because there are so many different issues, which seem to compete with each other. Shall I save the whales or help battered children? The truth is that all aspects of the current crisis reflect the same mistake, setting ourselves apart and using others for our gain. So to heal one aspect helps the others to heal as well. Just find what you love to work on and take joy in that. Never try to do it alone. Link up with others; you’ll spark each others’ ideas and sustain each others’ energy..

Act your Age

Since every particle in your body goes back to the first flaring forth of space and time, you’re really as old as the universe. So when you are lobbying at your congressperson’s office, or visiting your local utility, or testifying at a hearing on nuclear waste, or standing up to protect an old grove of redwoods, you are doing that not out of some personal whim, but in the full authority of your 15 billions years.

Conclusions to this semester

This semester is over, now we have two weeks off. Oh God, two weeks means two Wednesdays without going to Phyllis Wheatley I will miss them.  All this semester, we spent time with the children. We had to finish our videos and post them in the website. It was a little stressful, because you have to get the child attention and make them do something that might be new to them; that is film. Filming requires a lot of time, a lot of patience, a lot of concentration. When we had to film Alejandro he learned the introduction by memory, the first time he did ok. The second time he got nervous, and the third time finally he did it perfect. I was so happy when we finally recorded him! Then later we didn’t get together a lot, first because we had to the dreamers’ party, and then Camilla’s video with Alejandro. A video made by a student from Miami Dade as well, interviewing students from Phyllis Wheatley; and people in Overtown from the streets. I remember all the MDC students and the PW students went down the stairs going to the library together. I was looking at the bunch of people; all of us together looked so many at the same time. The librarian was there, the director of Honors College, Jennifer Bravo was there too. One of the directors of the dreamers was there too, and the president of all colleges I believe she was there too. We all sat almost at the same time, I wanted to see that video so bad because I remember I helped Camilla once to film with Alejandro. I remember, it wasn’t easy filming outside, nor inside, or everywhere. We were seeking complete silence in a school, hard to find, trust me. Well, yes we were seating there waiting for the video to come, the TV was turn on and the video started playing. The video showed Camilla in a roof, the background was the city of Miami which I thought was great. She would talk about what was happening in Overtown, and then she would show the PW students, and street people. What I really liked about the video was that, it didn’t hide anything, it was clear to understand that in Overtown there are many drug dealers, most crimes are committed there, and a lot of homeless inhabit the place. She went out to the streets and talked in person with a homeless man and asked him what he thought about Overtown. She combined the perspective of adults compared to the children’s point of view. She would come back with the children, also asking them what they thought about Overtown, what were their experiences. That day watching the video was pretty cool, I liked the video. Alejandro was like the protagonist of the video, he was sitting in the front table, he was with his head down, and he was ashamed. We are definitely not finished with the dreamers we have one semester with them, and we hope to finish  our project completely.

Commenting on the video we saw!

Today in class we had the opportunity to watch a video about the “I have a Dream” program through the eyes of a former college student that attended the program. It was a very graphic video that must have taken long time to develop. New ways, Sendy and me were asked to give our opinion on the video and this were some of the ideas that we drawn out of our minds. The most astonishing moment from the video that we saw, included people dancing the “Wu Tang Dance” Sendy and I came into that conclusion that they were good but not great dancers.  She replied that “They will never Wu Tang like me!” and I agreed. We liked the set up of the video which included over town and the P.W. students as the main focus for the video. As we discussed on the video we manage to make some strong remarks on the video that was suppose to include the whole class of P.W. students, yet the video included a few of Sendy’s classmates, and she would have liked to be there.

The video was mainly about how dreamers and the college students help each other, and how over town can be a better place.

I posted the idea of making a 2008/2009 video and I had a few supporters. It seems that Sendy was content with the idea as she told me that she needs to be in the video by default. I responded with a smile. And during the second semester of my P.W. experience I plan to produce the sequel of Camila’s work. I am planning on shaping my idea a little more of this upcoming project with some opinions of the P.W. students in regards to the program. I hope to accomplish this project in order to bring more smiles and a better understanding of “all for one, and one for all”.